Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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