Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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