Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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