A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
birth control should be required to get into college
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize