why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize