I look better un-naked...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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