thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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