Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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