Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
