I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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