weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
