Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
