i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
