YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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