did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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