My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She's the barista slut.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
