he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
