Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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