Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
