kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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