whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
