I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
