Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
