Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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