I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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