I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
