I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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