it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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