I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
