I hate all girls vehemently.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
