big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
