I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
