so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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