I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
