Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Two words: nipple clamps
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