White coat. Heels.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize