I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
