what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
