I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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