I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
