People with herpes should wear stickers.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize