Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
