glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
