Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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