I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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