I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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