Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
