Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize