Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
