im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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