If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
