I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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