Need sex. Gaining weight.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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