I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
