oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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