we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
