reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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