She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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