Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize