We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
