p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
