i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize