I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
