Your mouth is God's brothel.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them š¤
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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