Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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