How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Can you bring me the toilet please
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
