Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
