I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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