you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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