who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
