i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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