guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
