oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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