I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
