we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
