PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it was like eating out sand paper
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize