the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
