where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
