I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
