well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
