Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
