we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
