Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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